Mom self-care

It is OK to ask for Help!

by Lady B

Hey there! Hope all is well. Today during our hang out I want to let you know that it is ok to ask for help. On occasion, some of us have been told that we have to figure things out by ourselves. While it may come down to that at times, we don’t always have to do it alone. There have been so many people to come before us that were successful at what we are trying to achieve or they’ve been through what we’re going through. Therefore, there is always someone available that we can go to for help, no matter what we are trying to accomplish. In the end, asking for help makes us better not weak because we didn’t figure it out on our own!

Besides being told to do things ourselves, there are different reasons people struggle to ask for help. One reason is being too full of pride. An individual may feel like they are above getting assistance when they can figure things out on their own. The very thought of asking someone to help them get further along makes them seem like they are less than average or powerless. They would prefer to struggle and even stress to come up with their own solution before feeling like they have to break down and go to someone else. It is great to push yourself until you get something, but never feel like you can’t accept assistance from others. It doesn’t make you small to receive help when you get stumped with something. It actually makes you better because no matter how much you know, you show that you were big enough to still learn from someone else.  

Another reason one might not want to ask for help is the total opposite of the prideful person. This particular person feels intimidated. They believe if they ask for aid with something, they may get put down or talked about rather than receive the needed support. The thought of being degraded is both humiliating and scary, so they become too afraid to ask for assistance. When they can’t find what they need to complete a task, instead of asking someone, they would prefer to just let it go and walk away. Now they’ve become stagnant or run the risk of falling behind for fear of what others might say about their lack of knowledge or skill.

In either position, both parties wind up losing. Whether they feel too superior or inferior to ask for assistance, in each case there will be a missed opportunity to learn. No matter if you struggle more with your ego or fear, you have to learn to put these feelings aside in order to grow. You will struggle to move forward and won’t see much progression if you can’t accept assistance. Every successful person needs someone or some type of aid to become better.

Below I’ve included a snippet of an article that breaks down why you’re not weak when you ask for help. This is great information for everyone, but definitely a great read for the prideful individual.

There are 4 reasons that make you a stronger, not weaker, leader. Here’s how asking for help makes you a stronger, not weaker leader: 1. You’ve chosen to live in a discomfort zone. 2. You’ve chosen to protect your greatest asset. 3. You gain different and varying insights. 4. You’re building the people around you. While asking for help is difficult, and can chip away at our own self-esteem — that stubborn portion of our ego that believes we can do anything — it can also make us stronger, more successful, and more confident. Try it. You might be amazed by the results.

I believe the following excerpt beautifully articulates what I am trying to convey to those that are too intimidated to ask for help with anything.

“When we ask for anything, we’re almost always asking for help, in some form; help with money, permission, acceptance, advancement, help with our hearts…Brene Brown has found through her research that women tend to feel shame around the idea of being ‘never enough’… at home, at work, in bed, never pretty enough, never smart enough, never thin enough, never good enough…Men tend to feel shame around the fear of being perceived as weak, or more academically, ‘fear of being called a pussy’. Both sexes get trapped in the same box for different reasons. If I ask for help…I am not enough. If I ask for help… I’m weak. It’s no wonder so many of us don’t bother to ask, it’s too painful.” 

-Amanda Palmer, The Art of Asking; or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help

Also here’s a short and sweet quote we all can memorize…

“Be strong enough to stand alone, smart enough to know when you need help, and brave enough to ask for it.” -Ziad K. Abdelnour

Economic Warfare: Secrets of Wealth Creation in the Age of Welfare Politics

Until next time, I want to leave you with this. Never allow anyone to reduce you down to anything less than what you are because you ask for assistance. If you go to someone for help and they attempt to look down on you, ignore their ignorance and find another individual or something else to get what you need. Sometimes help may not come in person-to-person contact, but rather from a book, podcast, YouTube video, etc. Either way, find what is necessary to help you grown and learn, and remember it’s ok that you don’t know everything! Ask for help and keep asking until you get what you need to succeed.

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2 thoughts on “It is OK to ask for Help!”

  1. I really love what you said here!
    I think we all know this information by now but some of us are quick to dismiss help, then to call out for a helpful hand. Thank you for breaking that silence 😌

    Reply

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