Hey there! Hope all is well. Today I want to hang out and spend a little time talking about why it’s necessary to remove yourself from toxic people. No matter if you’re related, how close you once were or who you thought this person/people might have been to you, if drama is mostly what goes down when you’re with them, then it’s time to move around.
Have you ever tried all you know to make a relationship work, but it typically appeared to be one-sided? You go out of your way to be nice or limit things you do or say because they don’t like it, only for them to be their usual nasty selves toward you? Then you watch them take the time to be considerate of the feelings of their co-workers, church members, and other friends; you are left in a state of confusion. One part of you wants to confront them to gain understanding while the other side of you pretty much knows how the conversation will go. You wonder if it’s worth the hassle or should you let it go and end this toxic cycle.
You tell yourself that you’ve known this person forever, and that’s just the way that they are, so you try to find a way to deal with it. However, the situation never changes, or it only becomes worse. While you want to maintain this relationship and let bygones be bygones, you grow and mature and realize what kind of pain it’s causing. At the end of the day, the better option is to let the toxicity go. You can still be cordial if it’s a relative or a mutual friend, but you have to move on with your life. Once you’ve had this experience, you realize that life is so much more peaceful without them and their drama.
While trying to confirm what I already knew, I searched to find information about toxic people. I found an article that I believe perfectly describes their type:
1. YOU’RE LEFT FEELING EMOTIONALLY EXHAUSTED AFTER AN ENCOUNTER WITH THEM
‘You always leave them feeling emotionally drained’ -stoonhouse
2. THEY TRY TO INTIMIDATE YOU TO GET THEIR WAY
‘Use [of] intimidation or threats to get their way’ -DanSolo126
3. THEY TRY TO CONTROL YOU BY GUILT TRIPPING
‘Guilt-tripping (“you love me or you’re my friend so you have to do this thing for me” hell no I don’t, you don’t know how love works)’ -DanSolo126
4. THEY ARE EASILY JEALOUS
“The manipulator is so jealous that they try to control the target in an unhealthy way. This one is tricky because not all boundaries are valid. Toxic people use ‘boundaries’ as a means of control, and then play the victim role when their ‘boundaries’ are crossed or not respected”-User Superfuntime.
5. THEY CONSTANTLY SEE THEMSELVES AS A VICTIM
‘I have a friend who wonders why everyone leaves them and feels like they’re victimized constantly. Of course, one day I have enough of their bulls**t, call them on it, and all of a sudden, I’m ‘victimizing’ them too.’ -SinOsc_440
6. THEY GIVE BACKHANDED COMPLIMENTS
‘Even when giving a compliment, it has to have a little negative on it.’ -gsweathers
7. THEY OVERSHARE
‘Disclosing extremely personal or intimate information about themselves or others straight away. Chances are they want your approval so badly they will bear any secret. The minute that they sense disapproval, however slight or imagined, they will turn on you and any information they have on you will be used in similar attempts to curry favour with future victims.’ -elhawiyeh
After you’ve read through the list and you have confirmed that you’re connected to someone with one or more of the seven signs of a toxic person, you know it’s time to let go. Regardless of what you say and attempt to do, that person will always be toxic for you until they come to that realization and want to make a change.
So with that, I’ll leave you with this. Don’t fret over losing a relationship because it’s too toxic. Instead, be grateful you were able to release yourself from it. When you have more peace, you are less stressed and can enjoy life as intended.
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