Hey there! Hope all is well. For today’s hang out, we are going to dig into my heart just a little bit. As a young girl, I always said I didn’t want to have daughters. I wasn’t a troubled teen, but I witnessed some. Not to mention, there were a lot of things that come with being a female that I was not interested in dealing with beyond myself. I felt that boys would be so much easier, so that’s what I hoped and prayed I would have. If I never thought God answered many prayers, this is definitely one He fulfilled. Now that I almost have three grown sons, there are days when not having a daughter saddens me.
I am thankful for my sons, and I love them all equally. However, there are days when I wonder what life would be like having a little Lady B (inserts wink). I have enjoyed not having the responsibility of a restroom buddy since the boys were younger. I appreciate being able to get a mani and pedi on my own and only having the concern with my hair and attire on a regular basis. At times, I wish I had a daughter to share in these moments. It’s not to say that she would be exactly like me, with love for all things girly, but it would be nice to have someone that may potentially share the same ideas. I know from talking to #GirlMoms that it isn’t always great moments of spa dates, girl talk, etc., but at some point, most of them have come around. Some of those same moms with older teen girls and young adults now have an inseparable bond. I’m not jealous at all, but I do admire their relationship. No matter the young girls you have a connection with, it’s nothing like having your biological daughter or one that you have raised like your own.
Now that my sons are older, they cling to their dad. While they all have their specific interests, they are MALES at the end of the day. At some point, they engage in the same type of stuff. They rarely want to go anywhere with me, but their dad can say let’s run to the mall, and they willingly (most times) hop in the car. I will admit that I have had days of being in my feelings. I felt like my only purpose was to birth them and then help guide and protect them through the first phase of their lives. The period where they don’t recognize or realize the energy, effort, and time it takes to help them grow.
All of the struggles, stress, and sleepless nights that I dealt with, I know most likely won’t be appreciated until they are much older and possibly begin to experience these moments with their children.
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Today, if there’s a problem, advice needed, or exciting news to give, they typically talk to their dad first. And we all know how men pass information. It’s like, oh yeah, I forgot to mention that. If/when they read this, they may disagree, but I expect that. I believe that my sons will reciprocate the love and support that I gave them as they continue to grow and mature. In the meantime, I have learned to appreciate when they think to include me in their lives and endeavors. I didn’t put this post together to provoke their attention, because I love living my best, stress-free life and doing me. However, I am highly interested in their day-to-day lives, and I appreciate it when they keep me informed about their affairs.
Until next time, I’ll leave you with this. If you’re a boy mom like me, this may be a phase that you had to go through, or you are going through at this moment. Remain strong, continue to show your sons love and support, and anticipate receiving the same in return. Be thankful if their dad or another positive male figure is at the forefront of their lives. Having a male role model is needed, but it does not negate who you are to them. You mean more to them than a specific period in time, and I firmly believe they will see that and begin to show you. In due season, everything you’ve given them will come back to you.
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So bittersweet! I have three boys, too. They are still very young (3-year-old and 18-month-old twins), but I already identify with some of this!
Oh how I remember those days! I think it’s inevitable that they will connect with dad more, but hopefully you can create a special bond that they only have with you. I’m the playful jokester, and focus on a lot of matters of the heart, so I definitely have a way specific thing they come to me about sometimes.
Now I’m not a “momma’s boy” but to me each parent has a strong-suit in something. You both teach us and guide us along the way and all I can do is thank you for your unconditional love and support. Yes we go to dad a lot, but I know I’ll get laughs, memories, and all the good times with mom too! So I disagree, you’ve always been the fun mom, and you know it! This is often times more important than serious conversations, a good laugh is always needed!
Well, I’ll take that son! Thanks for reading today and stopping through to comment and school me on how it really is. 🙂
Wow this brought back so many memories I raised 5 boys I even had a step daughter she was her mom’s baby lol and yes I had a strong desire for a daughter of my own when my youngest son was 15 I was told I couldn’t conceive anymore but God blessed me with my girl when she was two days old so it’s bitter sweet there is a lots of emotions that I didn’t experience with boys so I’m still learning, thank you for sharing though i might not always comment I’m so proud of you love you
So happy to hear you got a girl! I’ll keep waiting on my sons’ sweet wives that I can love on! Claiming it!!! Now, tell me who this is so I can love on you! You can email me at hangingwithladyb@gmail.com if you want to remain anonymous. I don’t know you by your account name. Thanks again for stopping through to read my blogs!