Hey there! Hope all is well. Ooooweee! Today’s hang out is about to be LIT! Well, it might not be all of that, but I hope the previous sentence made you want to keep reading. LOL!
There is a saying that many of us heard growing up, “I wasn’t born last week.” I seriously think our kids almost believe that, or something very similar.
Often, I have a good idea of what my sons are doing, without them telling me about it. This concept is known as a mother’s intuition. They have this false sense of believing that they are getting away with everything they are doing or have done. As I always tell them, “What’s done in the dark will come to light, one way or another.” That statement hasn’t failed me yet!
There are times my sons will come to me and tell me what they’ve done or been doing. Then they let me know what’s going on as a result of their actions. The first thing I say to them is, “You must think I’m stupid.” Most times, I have a sense of what’s going on, but I’m not asking specific questions, especially with my older sons. I try to allow them to grow and figure some things out on their own. However, I’m not crazy! Not only was I once their age and doing a lot of the same stuff, but I was a teenage parent.
The age gap between us is not as long as other parents and their children. Some people waited until after marriage or their late twenties and even thirties before they started having children. Because of that, there is somewhat of a difference between times and how things have changed. Overall, we are all repeating most of the same stuff as the generations before us. That goes along with another great saying I grew up hearing, “There’s nothing new under the sun.” In short, we’ve done that too.
It’s so funny to me when the kids talk about some of the things they snuck and did or reminisce about something they got caught doing. Depending on their age and maturity level, their dad and I will tell them we did it too. Sometimes they are in shock because all they see is mom and dad, but again, we were once doing the same stupid stuff! I have to remind them once again that they are not creating anything new. They may have different avenues of getting to things, but the idea is the same as when we were kids.
A little while back, I realized that one of my sons had lied to me about a situation. He was not home at the time, so I called to charge him up. When I told him that he lied to my face, he said he had no other choice because I put him on the spot. I reminded him that the damage had been done, and that would have been a good time to be honest. We have always had an open-door policy with our sons, and they know that they can talk about anything. The problem comes when possibly getting the response they don’t like, so they’d rather not say anything sometimes until they’re forced to do so.
Another game they like to play is using your words against you. They think they’re slick, so you have to be direct with what you say. Otherwise, they’ll say it was a statement, so that’s why they didn’t respond. Or, they’ll use the excuse that you said it would be good, or you would advise. You never said it was required. Because I’ve seen this happen a time or two with multiple children, I aced this test quickly. I make sure to be extremely straightforward when I’m giving out directions or asking for specific information. Once I’m finished, I ask them to repeat what I said and what they understood. If at any time there is a misunderstanding, I rephrase and repeat. Now, they have to use another angle to try to get by with some foolishness.
Until we meet again, I’ll leave you with this. Kids will try you! Please put them in their place in the early stages of childhood. Explain how the parent-kid relationship works, and make it relevant for their age and level of understanding. Be sure to continue training them on this subject as they grow up. As I love to tell my sons, “I was born first and chosen to be your mother.” Then I remind them that God didn’t make them my parent for a reason. I urge you today to set a standard in your home for how you handle your children. As I stated before, they will attempt to get over on you, but remind them that you are not new to this.
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