Hey there! Hope all is well. Today I want to hang out and talk with you about ‘kickin’ it’ with your kids. I know this is a toughie for some, but we’ve got to dive into this.
I am one of the most playful moms you will probably meet (blame that on my daddy). My kids cannot enter a room without me pranking them. They don’t trust me walking by because my track record proves that I’m usually up to something. However, I’m not always playful. I know when it’s time to stop the jokes, so my kids recognize that I’m being stern. Your children should be able to distinguish the difference in playful times and serious moments. If you’re always playing around and treating them as one of the homies, they won’t realize when it’s no longer fun and games.
I believe there is a fine line between hanging out with your children and being their parent. Especially when you have older teenagers and young adults. It may seem like a great idea to be buddy-buddy because you appear to be the “cool” parent. However, that relationship may cause confusion when you’re ready to lay down the law.
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You’ve spent so much time acting as your child’s friend that they don’t look to you for guidance and support. You’re older, but you’re no different than one of their peers.
This lifestyle does work for some. Parents build this type of bond with their children early, but they also differentiate their roles as friends and parents. The kid recognizes when it’s time to be serious and respectful and treat their mother and father as their superior.
I think that everything has a time and a season. As kids mature, I believe it is okay to introduce them to age-appropriate music, movies, etc. Of course, what one parent or family considers of age to share is relative.
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I know many parents that play explicit music and watch R rated movies with their babies, toddlers, and young children. I don’t judge them because that’s their decision to make. However, that was never my thing. I’ve always wanted my kids to slowly grow and enjoy being children while having something to look forward to each season of their lives. Therefore, I chose to save my graphic music (when I was in the mood to be extra grown and sassy or ratchet) and play it at times when they were not with me. My husband and I watched R rated movies or PG 13 movies without them. It’s okay! There are family-friendly shows and videos that both you and your kids can watch together and still enjoy.
Until next time, I’ll leave you with this. I believe that you should distinguish the role between parenting and being friends with your children early on. In my opinion, this is why some parents struggle with disciplining their kids. Because the child feels equal to the parent after a longstanding friendship, lashing out and being disrespectful doesn’t seem out of the ordinary. Decide what position you want to have with your kids and get to work on that today! Don’t wait until you feel that they’ve gone too far and try to correct them because you’ve trained them to believe that you’re on the same level. Now, tell me your thoughts. Do you think you can do a little of both, or would you prefer to play one role or the other? I’d love to hear your take on this subject.
Thanks again for stopping by to hang with me! Please leave comments below and share this post on your social media accounts.
I wish I would have balanced between mother and homie roles for my son and myself. I know he loves me, but, you are right, He is disrespectful and unappreciative more than I was able to admit even to myself. It has only been he and I since he was born and both sets of grandparents while the loser I got tricked by spent half the time in prison and the other half getting a few other kids from other women and smoking crack. I feel like I over compensated for the poor excuse of a father being absent. My son is now 24 and very irresponsible. He knocked up the devil herself and the baby was born on the 3rd of January 2021. She is in foster care because the woman was dirty for meth and pot. I should have been Mother more than Homegirl and maybe this wouldn’t be my reality… FML
Thank you very much for your blog. I admire you and can only hope that one day my son will respect me as your sons respect you. You are an awesome mom. I have been terrible at this.
Thanks so much for taking the time to read my blog! I appreciate it! I really hate to hear how things are going for you now and I understand you reason doesn’t wanting to build the type of relationship you started with your son. With him being grown, it’s definitely going to take a lot of work to start changing how he treats you, but I firmly believe that it’s never too late for anything. You can be honest with him and have a conversation about how things are and how you want them to change. If you are a believer and have faith, I would say pray about it, keep talking about what is okay and what is not okay and let things take their course. You are not terrible! You did all you knew to do, so don’t beat yourself up about that! I will send prayers up for you and your son that a change can happen!🙏🏽
I want to be a cool mom like you!
Thank you! My kids would probably say otherwise! Lol.
I agree 💯! Parents need to be parents and kids need to be kids. Blurring the line between the two, will just cause heartache in the future. I’ve personally seen this with my niece and nephew. You can’t be their BFF! Your boys and your family are perfect examples of proper parenting! They are respectful, obedient, and heed the parents wisdom and advice. Good words of wisdom in this post!
Aww, I appreciate that so much! My kiddos and I definitely know how to have a good time, but I’ll pump the brakes real quick if somebody attempts to cross that line. 💯