Hey there! Hope all is well. As we hang out today, I want to talk to you about how you sometimes have to pray and stay in marriage until things get better.
NO, I am not telling you to stay with someone abusing you in ANY way, constantly cheating on you, or mistreating you. I am speaking on other repeated issues, endless frustrations, annoyances, and irritations. You know, those little things that keep happening that you believe will never change.
When my late grandmother was asked how she managed to be married for so many years, she would sometimes respond with, “Pray and stay.” She’d tell you that times got so bad where she didn’t know any other thing to do but pray about the situation and stay with her husband.
I had no expectations for a perfect marriage, but I never expected to be citing Bigmama’s words regarding mine. I can’t say that our problems are so terrible that I need to walk away, but man, I tell you, they make me second guess those ‘I DOs’ sometimes! That’s when I have to remember Bigmama’s “Pray and Stay!” As my First Lady puts it, “Everybody’s much is much to them.” What you may think is not a big deal can be a lot to me and vice versa.
People see surprise trips and cool birthday gifts that I sometimes post on social media, but they don’t see everything. Of course, I’m not going to show everything. While I do feel that sharing the bad times are necessary, everybody can’t handle your truths. Therefore, I will talk at situations and attempt to get the message out that my marriage is not perfect without getting into details. However, not sharing does not change reality.
Until next time, I’ll leave you with this. My grandparents were married for 63 years before they passed away in the same year. Things weren’t always great for them, but because Bigmama chose to use an old school method she called ‘pray and stay,’ they had a long-lasting, successful marriage that I still admire to this day. I am a firm believer in prayer, so I use this same style from time to time. However, for those that don’t believe in God or some higher power that you pray to, there are many other ways to help you succeed in marriage. I urge you today to find what works for you. Go to counseling, talk with an unbiased family member or a friend, or read a book about relationships. Marriage is a great thing, and it can work if you are willing to do the work to maintain it.
If you liked this post, please leave a comment below and then share it on your social media account(s). I would love to hear your feedback. Thanks again for Hanging With Lady B!
Toni, this is gooood. “Pray and stay.” WOW, I genuinely love that sound advice. God bless your grandmother!! She was a very wise woman.
I sincerely love your transparency. You are going to help a lot of men and women come to understand that marriage is work. Every day isn’t going to be excitement and hallelujahs. Most of all, that’s okay! We are not only growing together as couples, but we are also growing as individuals. Maturing is rarely easy or fun. Looking back and seeing how much we’ve grown and how far we’ve come, on the other hand, is fun! It’s also deeply rewarding.
Abuse is never okay, just like you said. Yet, those ‘minor’ personality clashes we inevitably experience as part of “Mr. & Mrs.” can and do happen. Whoowee- they can be HARD to deal with. When our own expectations are trampled on, it’s pretty normal to feel some kind of emotion. It’s in those moments that we learn so much about *ourselves.*
Prayer changes things. We can’t change hearts or minds, but GOD can! He is faithful, always. He will change our spouse’s heart and ours in the process. We simply have to let him do what He does best. He will exceed our wildest expectations. I trust that your marriage will bloom brighter each and every day. I plead the blood of Jesus over you and your husband, trusting that NO weapon formed against you will prosper.
God bless you, sis. Keep on being amazing. You’re touching and changing lives! ❤
Yes, my grandmother was very, very wise!
Thanks so much for your encouragement and feedback! I love that part about our minor personality clashes statement. That is so true!
Thanks so much for your sincere prayers! I receive them and stand in agreement with you!
Thanks again for reading my post! 💗
Really appreciate this advice. And I laughed when you said you rethink that I-do sometimes. It is true, isn’t it? A successful marriage is about renewing our decision to stay with this person in spite of and despite of all the challenges, big and small. Great post. Bless your grandmother!
Absolutely! No marriage is perfect and even after almost 19 years of marriage, it still takes work to make it work. My grandmother was a beautiful soul. Thanks so much for reading my post. I appreciate your feedback!
Agree, relationships take constant work – this is how we continue to grow, right? And 19 years of marriage, wow, congratulations!
Absolutely! Thanks so much!
I love this pray and stay. Marriage is very challenging and sometimes I feel like giving up. But I had to realize that trouble don’t last always.
It is beyond challenging sometimes, but you were correct when you said trouble don’t last always. With every season of marriage, change happens and we have to learn to make the adjustments for each other. It’s tough, but doable!