Hey there! Hope all is well. Today, as we hang out, I’d like to talk about that new, fresh, fun, and exciting feeling that you and your partner share in your relationship’s early stages; that puppy love. Does it last forever?
The mere fact that I labeled it new sounds like a telltale sign that it won’t last, right? Well, I think that depends not only on life, circumstances, and seasons but also on the person we ask.
I’ll begin this topic by talking about a young couple near and dear to my heart, my son, and his little lady (as I sometimes affectionately like to call her). They are the epitome of puppy love, in my opinion. Although they are one month shy of celebrating their fourth anniversary, I still consider their love new, fresh, fun, and exciting. They are young with no children, have very minimal responsibilities, and both still live at home. All those factors allow them to have that fixated love and extreme passion.
There aren’t many roadblocks to distract them from one another. Whether studying for classes, riding to and from work, or just taking a day to hang out, they are ALWAYS together! Sometimes, I sit back and wonder if they will continue to be like this. Once they are married, in their own place, and have the weight of more responsibilities, will they continue to love with the same obsessive passion?
It’s amusing to watch them because I see Ejuan and me all over again. The only difference is by their age, we already had twins and were married. Before having children, we were the same way. We couldn’t go a day without talking and seeing each other. It didn’t matter if it was only for a short time. We had to be together! Nothing or no one else mattered, as long as we had one another.
Now that we have been married for almost two decades, so much has changed. We’ve built a couple of houses, moved a few times, raised two grown sons, and one teen son. We’ve had four dogs. Two are still with us. We have worked at the same location, often in the same department or building for most of our marriage. We have both gone back to school and obtained college degrees. Both of us have built a side business, so it’s been a lot, to say the least. While constantly evolving, it hasn’t always been easy and exciting to maintain passion and excitement over the years.
However, I can say from Ejuan’s perspective, he is mostly the same. He still wants to be attached at the hip 24/7. He would love it if we had just about every experience together. His love, affection, and actions still echo the 16-year-old boy I met over twenty years ago. I would go as far as to say that he’s almost like the guy from the movie, The Color Purple. A man told Shug Avery, “Girl, I’d drink your bathwater!” That’s a rather disgusting metaphor for how smitten he was, but it reminds me of my husband, and I’m grateful that he still loves and adores me that way to this day!
Unfortunately, that is not the case for me. It’s not a bad thing. I’m just different. What used to be so exciting and interesting at sixteen, nineteen, and maybe even twenty-five doesn’t strike me the same at almost forty! Life and circumstances have a way of changing how you view things. I still love my husband with all of my heart and could not imagine life without him, but being together every waking moment is not for me! I like my space, love having a little alone time, and appreciate our time apart.
We have to put in a little more effort now to do things together because we don’t have the same hobbies and interests. What’s a pastime for him bores me, and sometimes he’s not into the same stuff that I am. Even as much as he cherishes me, we still have to be intentional about doing things that we can both appreciate. This is one of the main reasons we make a BIG DEAL about #DateNight, vacations, and quick getaways alone!
To answer the original question, sometimes, puppy love and the desire to always be together CAN last forever. For my husband, even with all life’s changes, he mostly has that same passion today.
I hope my son and his girlfriend continue down this path. It makes my heart smile to see how he treats her. It shows that he learned well by observing his father love me unconditionally, and seeing the two of us maintain our relationship. I also appreciate how good she is to my son. When he’s sick, she’s a caretaker, cooks him meals, and will do anything he needs. I’m happy to know that he will have an awesome woman who loves and appreciates him when he begins his journey beyond our home.
Until next time, I’ll leave you with this. Whether you have the same butterfly feelings for your significant other today as you did when you first began or you have to do the work to maintain your relationship, appreciate what you have. Make your connection work the best way for you and your partner, and don’t waddle in the fact that things aren’t like they used to be. Focus on what you have going on today and make it do what it do! Are you like my husband and have those same giddy feelings for your partner, or are you similar to me and have to be more intentional? Share some feedback in the comments and let me know which partner you are. Then tell me how you two make the relationship work with your different ways of showing love.