Prioritize the Marriage Over the Wedding!

Focus on the Marriage More Than the Wedding

Often people put a lot of energy into planning a wedding but overlook the work needed to sustain the marriage. Brides, especially, go the lengths of researching venues, finding the baddest dressmaker, and booking the hottest DJ in town. However, how much of that enthusiasm are they giving to the relationship as a whole? When the ceremony is over, is there anything that guides the marriage? Don’t put all of your eggs into the details and decor. Instead, focus on how you two will maintain and get through life after the wedding.

Will the Ceremony Details Determine the Relationship?

Now, I had a small wedding, but by no means am I saying that’s what everyone should do. Have the wedding of your dreams, if you can afford it. There are many days I think back and wish I had done more. Fortunately, the ceremony details did not define my union. Had the ceremony been a depiction of our actual marriage, we would’ve been in trouble. LOL!

More emphasis should be placed on learning how to communicate then who will make the guest list. All the effort to create the crowd with the best vibe, but where are they when trouble arises?

Can you call on Table 8 to help when you’re struggling to understand one another? When you feel like giving up, will your DJ be around to play your favorite love song? Again, plan an amazing wedding, but make sure your foundation runs deeper than “one day.”

Make Counseling a Continuous Thing

A lot of couples sign up for pre-marital counseling. Some go through a program or meet with a minister at their church. They complete the mandatory sessions before the wedding, and then counseling is never brought up again. The idea resurfaces when problems have arisen or when it’s the final straw before the marriage ends in divorce.

Maintain counseling from the beginning of your relationship. Decide as a couple how often you will attend. You may feel that once a quarter is good from the start. Then you can make it once a year when you’re more grounded. Please don’t wait until there is an issue before you seek counsel. As we keep up with maintenance on our cars and bodies, we must do the same with our marriage.

You may also enjoy: Reasons why you should consider couples therapy to STAY happy in your marriage

Are you ready for more than a wedding day?

Until next time, I’ll leave you with this? As you prepare for your wedding, ensure you are planning for your marriage too. Ask yourself some honest questions to make sure you are ready. Then take time to have those serious conversations with your partner. Think about your life beyond the ceremony. Are you both mature enough and mutually prepared for all that marriage entails? If red flags are coming up in your discussions, there’s nothing wrong with taking a step back. Do not worry what others will think. Focus on the future and success of you and your significant other.

Thanks so much for hanging out with me!

7 thoughts on “Prioritize the Marriage Over the Wedding!

  1. I’m not married but I definitely get what you mean. I think the wedding and the first few weeks are usually the easiest but for something to last you kind of need to think long term.

  2. I absolutely agree! We also had a small wedding with mainly family members.

    1. I love it! #TeamSmallWeddings 😂 Now, I’m definitely not saying little guarantees anything, but less focus on the ceremony sure has!

  3. This is so important and something that is too-often overlooked. Like you, we had a small wedding. It’s something I’ve never regretted. Over the years I’ve noticed that the bigger and more lavish the wedding, the more likely the couple will divorce. As you point out, too much focus on the day and not about the thousands of days that follow.

    1. Exactly! Not all big weddings come tumbling down in divorce, but I’ve seen it happen a lot too. People have to learn to shift their focus on what’s really important. Thanks for your feedback!

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