Parenting styles & expectations vs. reality
Oftentimes as parents, especially with specific religious beliefs, we have expectations for our children that can end in disappointment. Whether you have a relaxed or more authoritarian parenting style, religion can affect how you parent. As believers we often categorize certain sins and different choices higher or worse than others. Especially those that we’re not affected by. Right or wrong, it’s the ugly truth. Regardless of the many types of parenting styles, we all want the best for our children.
We want them to date who we like, go through a particular process, marry and move in together at a specific time, and have children at a certain point in their lives. Unfortunately, a lot of us didn’t follow this expected path, which is why we so badly want it for our offsprings.
Parenting styles: An evidence-based, cross-cultural guide
Loving your children no matter what they choose
So far we are 2/3 that have not taken the path their Dad and I would have preferred. Regardless, we love them, and will always have their backs. They know exactly how we feel about the choices they’ve made because we have those tough conversations. However, if they called tomorrow in trouble or needed something, there’s no question about us being there.
Authoritarian parenting style does not negate love
No matter what choices my children make, I will still choose to love them! I will be honest and say that I don’t have the grace and patience like my mother; she is truly one-of-a-kind. I inherited my father’s authoritarian parenting style in some areas, so I do have to put in additional work to be more understanding. As my kids grew up, I have learned to be more authoritative with my parenting style.
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Parenting expectations vs. kid’s decisions
Although as kids we did stupid things and made bad choices, it hits different when you’re the parent. I try to remember my poor decisions when I’m dealing with theirs, but it doesn’t completely take away the blow. As my sons continue to blossom into finding themselves and their way, I will love them even when I don’t agree with some of the choices they make for their lives.
Fighting for my kids no matter what
If someone comes with unsolicited advice about my childrens’ lives, they will probably get to know the other side of Lady B. I will warn you, you just might meet a new Lady B by falsely showing concern with my children are doing. While I totally believe in “it takes a village to raise a child,” I’m very particular about who is allowed in that village. I only want loving people that are truly concerned for their success, safety, and well-being. Therefore, if you only talk to my sons to find out their personal business, or spend your Sundays around the dinner table to discuss their lives, YOU are NOT their village! I will protect my children by any means necessary, just as any real parent will! Them being males and adults doesn’t change that!
Do you think there are different types of parenting styles that will allow you to love your child no matter what decisions they make?
Until next time, I’ll leave you with this. Just as we made choices that our parents were not on board with, but they still loved us through, we should do the same for our children. We have to believe that what we taught them didn’t fall on deaf ears. The Bible says train up a child in the way they should go and they will not depart. I believe all things will work together for their good.